Herpes isn't as bad as you think it is
Here are some of the things you might not have known if you're newly non-monogamous/single. Many of us who opened relationships or experienced breakups after having been with only one partner for a significant amount of time (or in the occasional case, ever) aren't familiar with a number of important things to do with safer sex.
1) You should have a comprehensive STI panel done every six months, or more if you're changing partners frequently. Some people with fluid bonded partners alternate testing every 3 months.
2) Some STIs are site-specific. To rule them out thoroughly you need to swab ALL the orifices (vagina, anus, throat) that have been involved in any kind of sexual contact, every time you do a panel
3) Non-barriered oral sex is fairly low risk but absolutely NOT no-risk. HSV, HPV, and oral gonorrhoea & chlamydia can be contracted through oral sex
4) You can use Saran Wrap as an oral barrier during cunnilingus and analingus.
5) Lots of sex toys and paraphernalia are porous and can't be fully sterilizied. The ones that can are more expensive. Do your research on toy materials every time - silicone, stainless steel, glass are safest.
6) It's a good idea to put condoms on any toys you're sharing with others, or if they're used for both vaginal and anal penetration.
7) Nitrile gloves can be both super hot - especially the black or purple ones - and super convenient, especially if you're getting into group sex or multi-orifice sex and you don't want to cross the streams
8) Internal Condoms (formerly called female condoms) can be great if you want to swap between orifices or people during penetration without changing condoms
9) Coconut oil is nice for lube but it degrades latex condoms. Never use it with latex condoms!
10) Almost everyone has herpes (HSV) and many of them don't know it. Many people contracted it as children in the form of cold sores. Someone doesn't need to know they've got HSV to be able to transmit it.
11) The same is even more true for HPV (Human Papilloma Virus) which has more than 100 strains.
12) Unless you specifically request it, an STI panel won't test you for HSV (because it's assumed that everyone has it, basically).
13) Unless you have specific visible lesions, most HPV testing is done via pap test and only the cancer causing types are tested for.
14) You need an even more specialized test to find out what type of herpes (1 or 2) you have (if you have it). You'll probably have to pay for it yourself, and the results aren't always definitive. The results don't change the way it's treated, if it's treated at all.
15) Though it has such a reputation as a terrifying disease since it's forever, Herpes is really a mere inconvenience for most people. Many people have few or no outbreaks. It can be managed with antiviral medication and the stigma is the worst part of the virus.
(Big shout out to Iris for beginning this list and inspiring this post)
