The Fawning Abyss
Instead of fighting, fleeing, or freezing, those who fawn will placate the source of their distress with being agreeable and helpful, relinquishing assertiveness and boundaries in exchange for a sense of safety.
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Podcast Episode 21: SCIENCE!
Author and researcher of sociology and anthropology Brenda Wiebe has written Catch & Release: How I Used Science to Hack my Love Life, a review of different relationship patterns throughout human history in combination with her own intimate journal entries.
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It's not a competition.
At the same time, I feel an immediate sense of loss because I know that they're not going to be as available to me. Then I feel guilty for being selfish and clingy.
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The More The Merrier (Until It's Not)
You may find yourself liking and/or loving those things too, metamours turn into paramours, and you may settle into some polyam smugness about how great you are all are at this non-monogamy thing.
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Attachment Styles: Turns Out I'm Not An Emotionless Automaton
Monogamous people usually only need to worry about figuring out one of these but we ethically non-monogamous folks tend get multiple styles in multiple relationships. Whee! So lucky!
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Everything Must Change
Sometimes a relationship doesn't work the way you think it will. Sometimes you go into something expecting it to look and feel a certain way, travel a certain path, and as you go, it turns out that is not what you (or the other person(s)) wanted after all.
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